


Never Let Me Go

by dorlgirl



Series: a sea of drabbles [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-18
Updated: 2014-01-18
Packaged: 2018-01-09 03:42:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1141003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorlgirl/pseuds/dorlgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lot of people mistook his quietness for an inability to use his words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Let Me Go

**Author's Note:**

> A (very) short character study of Derek before certain events in 3A. Title taken from [Never Let Me Go](http://youtu.be/zMBTvuUlm98) by Florence and the Machine.

A lot of people mistook his quietness for an inability to use his words. On the contrary, he usually had so many things he wanted to say, and so many ways he could say them. He just didn’t think most of them were appropriate to the situation at hand or relevant to the conversation. If pressed, Derek could rhapsodize for hours on the clean lines of a beautiful building or the messy, emotional way oils sat on a painting, making it seem alive and personal. He could chat endlessly about the philosophies surrounding classical fiction or modern poetry. He could spin words into vibrant tales that never failed to enrapture his younger siblings and cousins. He could gab about fashion with Laura, cooking with his father, pack politics with his mother. Derek had spent most of his younger days talking, endlessly, about anything with anyone.

Now, with the responsibility of a pack of his own, a power he never wanted but had taken on so that Scott wouldn’t have blood on his hands and a mark on his soul, he had adopted a fake-it-till-you-make it policy. He remembered the way his mother preferred to listen, making sure to connect with all the members of her pack, finding out how they were doing, giving each of them the time and comfort they needed. Speaking with the Alpha was an honor and a vital part of maintaining pack bonds. Derek just…tried to keep the tradition.

It was difficult when his pack didn’t want to talk to him. He would be lying if he said he didn’t know why. They were young, teenagers, starting to form their own opinions and falling quickly into rebelliousness. They were bitten, not born into being a werewolf, so the importance of many rituals and customs wasn't a matter of instinct for them. 

The best Derek was able to give them was the option of coming to him, of staying quiet when conversations veered into directions that he would love to be part of. His pack needed him to be strong, to be confident and resolute. They didn’t need him gushing about how amazing old Hollywood films are or inviting everyone on a weekend trip to see his favorite band in concert down in Oakland. They needed someone to push, to test themselves on, someone who could be the bad guy, the rock they could either cling to or beat their fists on when things went wrong. They needed someone to take the blame, to lead them, to put them in line. Someone to be mocked behind their hands one moment, and someone to stand between them and danger the next. 

It didn’t matter how much it hurt to be left out, to be ignored until someone wanted something from him. They were at war and it was only going to get worse. He trained them, pushed them, forced them to grow up, even as it broke his heart. He wanted quiet nights filled with easy conversation and reassuring touches. He didn’t want to drag them into the mess that his life had become. But he needed a pack. If he was going to defend this town, he needed wolves at his back. 

So, like any good Alpha, he gave them what they needed and kept quiet. He bit back the words that wanted to tumble out of his mouth, ignored the desire to debate with Stiles, to find ways to make Boyd laugh, to replace every harsh word Isaac had ever heard from his father with encouragement and praises, to convince Erica that she had always been beautiful and strong, and that she hadn’t need to be a wolf to be amazing, to guide Scott through the clusterfuck of an unwanted gift. Derek even wanted to sit with Allison, explain everything to her so that she wouldn’t hate them, wouldn’t hurt his pack. Alphas didn't get what they wanted though. They gave what was needed.


End file.
